I don't even know where to begin with the
beginning.
I think my childhood is more complex and unusual than the rest of my life story. I will leave that
assessment up to you should you decide to follow along this journey with me.
Let me introduce myself - My name is Jordan Phoenix McKinney. I was born in Tucson, AZ in 1984, at my Grandma Penny's house. My mother had a Midwife, and a "natural birth" . I lived the first few years of my life on Picture Rocks Rd. in an area that I can only remember as a desert. I found a horned beast of a lizard once outside by the clothesline and it shot blood in my face (I think that's a natural defense mechanism like when a frog pees in your hand).
I am the youngest of 5 siblings- Three older "half"brothers, and an older sister. Although growing up they made great effort to convince me I was adopted, I think they secretly loved me.
I was a little weirdo, that's for sure. My parents would buy me toys, but I was happy to make a nest in a
cardboard box and clip wooden clothespins around the edges (perhaps for protection? your guess is as good as mine).
My childhood was filled with glorious things. My sister (2 & 1/2 yrs my elder) and I shared a room...
ok that's not entirely glorious, but back then we
didn't know that! We had various incredible stuffed animals, including
Popples and
Raggedy Ann. We were freaks for
Lego's, Modeling Clay, and building castles (forts) out of plastic crates in our room.
We watched the Muppet Show religiously, and also
Jem and the Holograms, old school Sesame Street,
Zoobilee Zoo ,
Fraggle Rock, and
Eureka's Castle. There is never a time I can remember when The
Labyrinth wasn't a part of my life.... I love that movie to this day.
Our favorite thing to do was make radio shows and musicals on our 80's style tape recorder, with the mic attachment. It has been said that we performed the most hilarious and child-genius-like talk show once, but when our Dad snuck in to retrieve it we had already dubbed over it with the more common child blathering. Rats.
Generally throughout my youth, I spent a lot of time "playing pretend". Everything from being spies and pirates, to fairies or dating Paul McCartney.
I often found myself daydreaming about my mother's made up bedtime stories. Oh man those were the best. There were
flittering ladybug princesses, and sparkling fairies, and all kinds of magic and cute animals... but they were all in my head. I still escape there sometimes. My mother probably doesn't even know that I still wish I could be in those stories.
We had these really old books that smelled weird (but in a pleasant way) and had amazing poems and short nursery rhymes/stories, and I blame them that til this day when I get out of the shower and dry off all I can think of is: "If I were a dog I would shake, shake, shake!!!"
My personal nightly ritual was falling asleep with headphones on listening to "Sharon, Lois & Bram". I loved those headphones. I spent hours with those things cranked up. I would sing along to the Annie
soundtrack and the many various mix tapes my parents would make for me, along with other kids music. Later on those headphones were a saving grace, but early in the game I had a deep appreciation for Vinyl! I can remember listening to
Cranston Thorndike and being
creeped out and hopeful at the same time - along with The
Labyrinth, it kinda set the tone in my life. I had a cool Sesame Street record, but the best was my Mickey Mouse Club stuff. Oh you don't even know...
Fankie and Annette... yes.
There were things that happened in Tucson that are in my mind so vividly, but don't make sense, or are out of nowhere. Here they are in no particular order, just within the time spent in Arizona :
I remember crawling around behind houses and dirty, dusty alleys on adventurous back ways to the neighbors house to pop giant bubble wrap in the garage.
I used to swing around a hot air balloon in my room with different toys in it.
Climbing up a tree at my sisters birthday and never wanting to come down, feeling so high and free, and sad about something,but not jealous. Not that time. I have no idea what was wrong and it bothers me still.
I remember getting in trouble for swimming in just my
wonderwoman undies in the pool with the neighbor boys.
There was this guy who was friends with my parents that dropped off like a
kazillion grocery bags full of candy from his work for some reason, and all I remember getting to eat were the damn
JuJu Bees, that only hurt to chew but tasted too interesting to not consume.
The
Culligan man (or Rainbow paint or water or something) stopped by after I had been playing with the makeup my Mom gave me. I thought I looked dazzling... he made fun of me and said it looked like someone had punched me. I am still offended Mr. wandering service-man, and I seek revenge!!! You are lucky your face is blurred out of my memory.
My sister was a Girl Scout, and one time I got to go along to a sleepover and somehow I was exposed to Nightmare on Elm Street and have been traumatized ever since. Look, I know it's so not Rock and Roll to hate horror movies, but I don't even care. They are yucky and vile.
On another
Girlscout related outing, we (Mom, myself, and big sister Rachel) went somewhere we for some reason
didn't or couldn't go in, but the outside had a giant, rectangular, above ground, concrete Coy pond, and it was so fascinating to me.
I was very young when I learned how to make grilled cheeses, cream of mushroom soup, and mayo on bread.
We went to
SwapMeets (aka Flea Markets) all the time. My parents made and sold lollipops. I really miss those. They smelled so distinctly wonderful, and looked cool. I think they sold other stuff at that time, but the lollipops are what I remember. Now they just sell antiques.
Once my parents forgot me at a booth at the Flea Market, and found me in a crowd of hippies, watching a
Tye-dye machine spin out designs.
Another great thing about Swap-meets in the Southwest... Mexican Candy and Tamales!!! Fresh, corn husk wrapped, spicy goodness tamales, carried in wooden boxes by beautiful older
Hispanic women. Rows of lemon halves with a
Saladido stuck in the middle and a dash of chili powder over the top... I'm salivating. My sister had a thing with Tamarind things, but I preferred the various peanut involving items- like
peanut butter Masapan...
mmm.
Obviously, I greatly enjoyed all the buying and selling adventures. Plus I always got free stuff, probably
cuz I was a ragamuffin with big blue eyes and a "fuzzy
blonde head" (words of my father)
We had chickens that I don't remember fondly. We also had the coolest cat that I would cuddle with on top of the fridge , or dress in drag. And I'm told many hours were spent playing in the sandbox, but I can tell you there was at some point a goal of mine and my sister to dig and escape to China... through our sandbox.... I told you I was a weirdo.
Our household was forever musical. Not just in the amount we listened to or saw performed live. There were many jam sessions I can remember at our house. My parents had fun, exciting, talented and
eccentric friends.
At this point, my eldest brother Dylan and my Father had a folk music/comedy duo and sometimes included my Mom, and eventually involved my sister and I as well.
My parents were both employed at radio stations as
DJs. They actually met that way, and my Dad proposed to my Mom
thru a glass partition that separated their station booths.
At some point my Father became friends with folk singer Tommy Smothers (from the Smothers Brothers duo) and he offered him advice that was generally this: As a musician, career wise, you need to pick a coast, and travel up and down it booking shows and making a name for yourself.
I don't know when exactly I was informed that we were moving away, and I honestly couldn't at this point tell you why, but we were off like a flash it seemed. Somewhere around the time I was 5 or 6, we packed up the big brown/dark copper van, hitched up the camper trailer, and were
singin songs to the next destination.
Next thing I know we are in Cali and Dad is angry. Words of wrath showered and splashed about the van about "a police state" and I knew there was no hope for life near Disneyland. Looked like the west coast was out... but we had a few stops to make along the way...
